A Difficult Decision

I will not be running my race tomorrow, and I did not come to that decision lightly.  I feel that this is the best decision for me and for those around me.

Last Sunday, my youngest son started the family out with the flu bug.  It lasted 2 days.  Tuesday night, my oldest son came down with this same bug.  It hit him hard, and he is struggling from it.  Well, low and behold, yesterday afternoon, I started with the bug.  Thankfully, it didn't last long with me like it did with my boys.  However, I am still having a problem drinking and eating.  To give an example, I am literally down 9 lbs in one day!  As much as I would like to say it is my hard work, I have to say it is that I am not hydrated enough.

So, up until tonight, I was actually planning on going to my race.  Whatever this bug is, it is nasty and is hitting many families in our school district.  The school and the district have sent out formal letters saying that this is highly contagious and to stay home 48 hours after the last symptom.  I don't want to risk anymore people getting this and I don't want to not have fun tomorrow.

Thus, I have made the decision not to race.  However, I actually did my first 5k last week.  I just didn't race to accomplish it, and Kira is my witness that I did it.  I will not quit here...I will look for another race to be had.  I also signed up for groupon for Zumba classes today.  I am super excited for that especially during the heat of the summer.

Trial Run

These pictures were taken last Thursday, April 12th. I am trying to make sure I take pictures at least once a month. I am starting to get more people mentioning how good I look and asking me how much weight I have lost. Well, I am still at only 15 lbs. I am telling people that, right now, I am not losing weight, I am redistributing it. My shape is changing.

This is my least favorite view, but my butt is my "largest assett" and it needs to be shown in hopes that it shows that it is shrinking.

All last week, I was nursing my knee, but because I didn't want to lose my endurance, I have been walking. Well, these pictures were taken after a 2 mile "walk" in 38 min. It was not easy. Kira kicked my butt. I always feel amazing after I excercise, though. My knees and feet were really hurting the next day so I just rested.

Friday night, I texted my girlies and told them I was going to do a trial run on my 5k. My 5k is on Saturday and I was getting really nervous about it. I wasn't sure I was able to do it. So, I decided to face the fear right then. So, Saturday morning, Kira and I went out at 7am (she started alot earlier because she ran to our starting place - show off :) ) and started my 5k trial run.

Kira and I discussed starting out the first mile strong with a run, walking the second mile, and ending strong on the 3rd mile. The first mile went great and I got into a good rhythm. I even pushed it to the end and dry heaved on the side of the road. Brie says that is the mark of a true runner...being able to puke on the side of the road. Just for fun, I checked my heart rate and it was up to 150 beats/minute. The second mile, we slowed it down and walked. That was my favorite part since I like chatting so much. Then, the third mile, I was at the point of calling Kira bad names in my head. She is really a good friend and "coach" and I am thankful for her patience with me. Nevertheless, in the end, I completed my first 5k and my time was 1 hour and 2 minutes.

My goal for Saturday is to run and keep running as far as I can and finish in UNDER one hour.

The next "trial run" I need to talk about is getting rid of dairy in my diet. Last week, I was watching Dr. Oz and he talked about milk alergies and sensitivies. He mentioned that an asstounding 60% of people have a dairy senstivity or alergy. My ears perked up when he mentioned some of the symptoms.... weight gain, lack of weight loss, joint pain, migrains and headaches, IBS, etc. I have been suffering from joint pain in the last year and have had many of the other symptoms. So, I decided to try the 3 week Anti-Alergy Diet. http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/anti-allergy-diet

So far, it is going great. I'm really not seeing any difference right now, but I am starting to realize how much crap is in the food we eat. I am having to read every label. Some breads have milk, some don't. It is found in canned foods and even deli meats! Who would have thought that? I was making tacos the other day and was about to put my favorite taco seasoning in. I looked at the ingredients, and it contains whey! Goodness!

I will keep you updated on how it goes. I'm taking it a bit easy this week with my running, in preparation for Saturday. I will post pics and details. Keep up all of your good works. I love hearing your own stories. Please spread the love to others too.

Perspective

Where is Tatiana?  That is a good question.  To put is quite simply, I have been avoiding my blog and thus avoiding hard things I don't really want to look at.  So, lets look into what I have been doing these last couple weeks.  First off, I need to say...I HAVE NOT QUIT. 

     A couple of weeks ago, I was hitting a great stride.  Actually, it was two weeks ago today that I was out running and I ran 25 minutes straight or a mile and a half straight.  It fellt so good.  So, on my off day, I went out and worked on putting my garden in.  Same for Wednesday.  Let me tell you, if you want to strengthen the back of your legs, put a garden in.  My hamstrings killed!  Well, I don't know what happened, but it caused my left knee to really hurt and swell a bit.  Last week, the swelling went down, but it still hurt.  It hurt to walk, but it hurt even more to run on it.  So, I haven't run.  BUT I have kept walking.  In fact, Brie mentioned before I got injured, that I needed to lengthen my running stride to go a bit faster.  So, I decided to try that with walking.  I openned my hips and let my legs take me around the park.  I was amazed!  I cut my .4 mile lap time down by 2 minutes! 

     So, this brings me to today.  I am itching to get out an run, but still my knee feels weak and it still hurts.  I still went out and walked, though.  I called it my therapy session.  I love Kira and Brie because they help me think through situations without trying to forcibly tell me what to do.  Kira walked with me while Brie watched the older kiddos.  I started to cry a bit while talking to Kira.  I'll admit it.  I'm mad.  I am mad at myself for getting hurt.  I am mad that I have a race 2 weeks away and I don't know how I will manage it.  I am mad because I wanted to run the whole thing and I know I could have, but now I will have to walk some/ maybe even all of it.  I am mad that I like to eat and my weight and lack of weight loss seems to show it. 

     Kira tried to put a few things into perspective for me.  The biggest thing was that my race was not an end all.  It was a goal to accomplish, but sometimes goals need to be adjusted.  My goal was to run the whole race on April 21st, but now my goal is to run/walk the race and FINISH it in under an hour.  This is allowing me to make a new goal....find a race in October (any time before that would be too hot in So AZ) and run the whole thing with a new time goal.  Second, my next goal this week is to work on my food choices.  Also, I have lost 15 pounds but have seemed to plateau already.  BUT I wish I could possibly count how many people have come up to me saying how good I look lately.  My body shape is changing.  My calves are starting to get a little definition and my large butt does not wiggle as much any more.  I need to change how I see myself.

     Thank you to my family and friends who give me so much support.  I haven't written for so long for fear of letting people down.  I was letting myself down so I didn't want to let anyone else down as well.  BUT I'm changing my perspective.  I'm changing my goals.  And, you know what?  It is ok.