Monday, February 20, 2012

The Power of Friends

Why is it that our thoughts can have so much power over our bodies? This can be a good thing and this can be a bad thing. The quote, "Mind over matter" has so much power when you are running and your brain keeps telling you, "Stop, this is stupid" or "Why are you doing this to me?" or "Are we done yet?"

My thoughts have been an incredible power for me. I've pushed myself to do things just by telling myself I could. I graduated from the University of Arizona. I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I get up everyday to the sound of four children. However, they have been a detriment too. I constantly tell myself I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty, I'm too fat. This latter thinking has kept me from loving myself.

So, today was one of those thought struggle days. I'm going on vacation with my family this week so I'm not able to go with Kira and Brie running. Just today. But I told them that I wanted to do it on my own today. Well, 8:00 PM came along and I still hadn't done my training. To be honest, I wasn't going to do it.

Then, came along my friend. Kira won't know what an influence she was to me tonight until she reads this, but her powerful thought kept me strong. I checked my email tonight and noticed that she commented on a blog post I did a couple of days ago. She told me that I can do it and that I AM doing it. So, guess what? I DID IT!

I went out, in the dark and ran. It's getting harder, but I'm doing it. The training was as follows: 5 minutes warm up walk, 3 min jog, 90 sec walk, 5 min jog, 2 1/2 min walk, 3 min jog, 90 sec walk and 8 min jog. Then a cool down walk. Did you see that at the end? I JOGGED 8 MINUTES STRAIGHT! A total of 19 minutes of jogging. Now, this may not be a big deal for some people, but this is HUGE for me.

I am thankful for the power of my friends. They are keeping me strong. I am realizing how important they are.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Life's Greatest Blessings

Exactly a year ago today, I weighed the heaviest I ever have. My body hurt all over and I was swollen to the gills. I remember sleeping (or not getting much sleep) in my chair very anxious for the upcoming events. I was about to do something I had never done before. I gave birth to twin boys.

I love all of my children. I have an almost 9 year old daughter, an almost 5 year old boy, and the 1 year old twin boys. What a blessing to have these four in my life. They keep me wanting to live life.

Writing this made me think of the cheerleaders I had today. I showed up at the park this morning with Kira, ready to run, but it was FREEZING out. It was 35 degrees and way to cold for the boys to be out in. So, I opted out and vowed to do my training at some point today. Then, I got really tired and just didn't feel like it. So, I didn't.

UNTIL...this afternoon, I got the boys down for a nap and the older two wanted to go out to play. This was my chance. I went out to play too. I grabbed the mp3 player and went outside. I did my training. What made it special was my children. Imagine, if you will, running to the end of a very long driveway with your children waiving flags and acting like cheerleaders. They are yelling stuff like, "Mom's the best!"..."You can do it, Mom" ..."We love you". My 4 year old was riding his bike at times too and kept high fiving me as we passed.

Afterwards, I talked to my daughter and she was just grinning ear to ear. She asked me if she could come to my race and cheer me on. I couldn't think of anything better than that. She was even more excited when I told her that the one I wanted to race was on her birthday. What a blessing they are to me. They are my reason to feel better. I am doing this for me, but I am also doing this so that I am there for them.

To recap my "training"...I ROCKED IT! 5 min. of warm up and 2 repetitions of the following (90sec jogging, 90 sec walking, one complete Adele "Rolling in the Deep" Song (approx 4 min) followed by 3 min of walking).

Monday, February 13, 2012

A Little Wiggle and a Little Woggle

My friend, Janette, commented on one of my previous posts that they like to call very slow jogging, wogging. I have amended that term to woggling. I was definitely wiggling and woggling today, BUT it was another awesome day of accomplishment.

I was dreading this day of training because it was pushing me a bit farther than I've ever been in
the last 20 years. I'm on Week 3 of the Couch to 5k program. It was warm up of 5 min. walking and 2 repetitions of the following (90 sec or 200 yds jogging, 90 sec or 200 yds walking, 3 min or 400 yds of jogging, 3 min or 400 yds of walking). I was REALLY psyching myself out with the 3 mins of jogging. BUT I did it and I had fun doing it. In fact, I felt so strong that on my last 3 minutes, I wanted to keep going. I made it another 100 yds or approx another 30 sec.

For the first time ever, I realized that I really can do this. As Kira and I were doing the cool down lap, I told her that this is my third program week, but I have really been at it for 3 weeks already. So, I'm starting my 4th week of walking/jogging. Kira mentioned some changes that she has noticed with me. First, I'm not sucking air anymore. Second, I am actually lifting my feet now instead of shuffling
like I did when I first started. Then, after we talked a bit more, she mentioned that all those changes have really happened in only 9 sessions of 1/2 an hour a day.

I am amazed at how my body is strengthening and healing itself in such a short amount of time. I am sure it will continue to increase its power the more weeks
that pass and the more weight that I lose. So, in only a cumulative of 4.5 hours, I've been able to increase my endurance and I am running.

Ok, I'm still woggling, but the important thing is
that I AM MOVING. I am starting to look forward to meeting up with my friends every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Oh, and the most important milestone that I hit today is that while going up that hill, I was not thinking bad thoughts about my friend Brie who was timing me. Now, THAT is an accomplishment. :)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Saturday - Weigh in Day

This will be a short post, but I wanted to announce that that I lost 2.3 pounds this week! Actually, I didn't "lose" 2.3 pounds, I kicked it out of my life and I never want it found again.

By the way, I am having fun too. Who would have thought? I met a new friend today while giving blood and I was so excited to tell her about my adventures with losing weight (which is only 14 lbs so far) and training for the 5k. I am loving when people are telling me they are starting something similar in other cities and towns. Again, this is so much fun!

So, I think we are narrowing our 5k down to possibly March 31st. There is one at the University of Arizona but registrations have not opened yet. When they do, Brie, Kira, and I will be registering. Anyone else want to join us? It will be really exciting to actually have a specific goal to work towards. A date that I can circle on my calendar.

Have a great rest day. See you on Monday. I will be on Week 3 of the Couch to 5k program. It looks scary to me. But, I will conquer even if I have to cry, whine, or inwardly think bad thoughts about my friend/trainer, Brie. Love you Brie!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Doritos are EVIL!

Yep, that says it all. Doritos are evil. They call you from far away. Just the thought of them makes you salivate. Then, that first salty taste - pure ecstasy. Before you know it, the whole bag is gone and you are licking the last of that cheesy goodness off your fingers.

Why is it that some foods just trigger a "lust" for that food? I'm sure there is some sort of scientific reason, but just know that I have some trigger foods. Doritos, doughnuts, rolls, chocolate...anything that has to do with some sort of carbohydrate (the not good for you kind). Those are my trigger foods.

Along with my 5k "training", I'm also doing Weight Watchers Online. It is teaching me to eat in moderation. Now, I can count on both hands how many times I've done WW, but this time is different. I have a goal to work towards. It is not weight related this time, although, that is a bonus. My goal is to run a full 5k. Along the way, losing weight will definitely help. But I'm looking at food, now, as fuel.

By the way, I had a piece of chocolate and doritos last night (my husband should not be allowed to go to any store when he is hungry). Yes, I beat myself up about it, but I do that. It's not healthy thinking, but that is another something I'm working on. I did enjoy every bite of that chocolate, though.

So, on to the run today. Because I ate the doritos, I could immediately feel the retention of water. So, I'm just drinking a ton of water. Two of my kiddos are still sick today so I missed the morning run with Brie and Kira. However, when the babies were down for their naps, I headed outside with the older two. They road their bikes while I did my training. By the way, I added some Adele to my daughter's MP3 player and it made running alot better.

I shouldn't say I run...I'm trudging along. I'm VERY slow, but my feet are coming up off the ground. So I think I'm doing something other than walking but less than running. I'm moving...that is the important thing. On our runs at the park, there is a slight hill that I HATE going up with my double stroller. I almost always want to cry going up it. Then I complain about how I'm not doing so much. Brie and Kira set me in my place. They remind me that I am doing more than I was and I am ahead of the person that is still sitting on the couch.

So, to all those that need motivation - here it is. Get off the couch. Walk down the driveway. That's it. You did more than you were doing. Now, if you are already doing that (no matter if you are just off the couch or if you are running marathons), just do slightly more than you did yesterday.

Ok...5k training stats.
5 min warm up. 20 minute alternating jogging/walking. 90sec jogging/2 min walking. 5 minute cool down and stretching.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


I "train" for my 5k every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. When I woke up this morning to go meet my friends everything went crazy. First off, I woke up late. It was 7:15 and I have to leave at 7:30 to get my daughter to school on time. I ran into the living room to get everyone going and was stopped by my daughter looking at me with a horrid look. We all know that look when something just isn't right with our children. She didn't feel very well, but I still wanted to send her to school. Then, she looked at me in the light. She had pink eye! Man, that put an abrupt stop to anything I had planned today.

Then the twins got up. Twin B was grumpy, but he is usually the happiest baby. Again, something just wasn't feeling right. Took is temp and it was 102.6. Called the doctor and we just stayed home. I kept thinking that I HAD to run today. I'm only on my second week and I have to keep going, but I couldn't figure out where to fit it in.

At around noon, I decided to check my grumpy gus's temperature again. It was 103.6 and rising! Called the doctor and got an appointment. Off to the doctor with 4 children in tow. I am so thankful that I had my dad to rely on. He met me there so that I wouldn't have to drag all the children in (just two of them). We had to do chest x-rays on my son to rule out pneumonia. All is well. To make a long story short, by the time I got home and had the children fed, it was 7:00! My husband works and goes to school so tonight was a late night for him and it was just me and the kiddos.

Here comes the mind games I play with myself. I kept telling myself that I ran around all day. Surely that was enough! Well, I knew that wasn't enough. I want to run a 5k! So, I put the twins to bed and put a movie on for the older ones. I grabbed my daughter's mp3 player and my flashlight and headed outside. I have a very long driveway so I used that. Turned on the mp3 player and started my 5 minute walk to none other than......Hannah Montana. lol...I really need to get my own so that I can listen to Adele or Bon Jovi. Then, 20 minutes of alternating jogging/walking. 90 sec jogging/2 min. walking. Then 5 minutes of cool down (walking and stretching). I absolutely loved it. For the first time, I felt strong. I felt like I could really do this. That's until Friday comes along and the mind games start over again. But, for now, I own it. It's my life and only I can change myself. I choose to live!

Running for my life.

I have had dreams, for many years, where I am running and loving it. I'm not breathing hard, I'm not tired, and I don't hurt. Then, I wake up and am brought back to reality. I weigh 350 pounds and it hurts to walk down the hall and chase my children, let alone, run.

I used to run. When I was in high school, almost 20 years ago, I would have Aerobics class for an hour and after school, I would play tennis for 2 hours. I had fun. I had a teacher that would push me to the limits and it made me stronger. However, I remember well the day that I stopped running, and I don't know why I stopped.

I have a great life and I love life. I have a wonderful husband that loves me very much and four beautiful children. However, I don't think I have ever learned to love myself. I've always struggled with my weight and my inner psyche when it comes to how I view myself. I've tried many diets, but failed. I always give up on myself.

One of my favorite songs is "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. "It's my life, it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever." I'm realizing that I only have this one life to live and I better figure out what to do with it.

One day of scrolling through Pinterest, I found a post for Runs for Cookies. She had a guest blogger on that talked about starting out at 340 lbs or so and wanting to run. She found at website that had a program called Couch to 5k, and ran her first 5k at 338 lbs. I realized, after reading that post, that I wanted to do that too. The only thing holding me back was me. I immediately got on the phone to my friend, who is an avid runner. She was up to the challenge to be my "coach" through this whole thing and to find me a 5k to run. Another friend joined us and we became a "team". After we drive our older children to school, we meet at the local park and follow my training schedule. Well, I do. Others are more advanced, but we still cheer each other on.

After a good jog/walk, my friends encouraged me to start a blog so that I can journal my journey to a better me. So, this is my story. It will be messy at times and sometimes entertaining, but most of all, I promise honesty. I need to be honest to myself in order for this to work. I also need this to hold me accountable too.